Redefining Rest
Written By: Kimberly Harkey, M.Ed., LPC-S
I’ve recently seen many self care shops selling things that say ‘Rest is productive’, but is rest productive? It always makes me take a long pause. I first notice how resentful I feel that even my rest has to be productive. Why can’t my rest be unproductive? Why can’t my rest just be? My second thought though is always how unproductive rest feels. Sure, sleep feels productive. We all need sleep to stay alive. Rest though? Rest and stillness often feel like something on my to-do list that I’m supposed to do before I can do the ‘actual things’ on my to-do list.
The idea of resting for the sake of rest is so often undervalued. I think about this all year long, but particularly in January. The pressure of New Year’s resolutions and energizing for a new habit feels in direct contradiction to the world around us. Mammals are hibernating. Plants are dormant. Reptiles are brumating. Flowing streams are frozen. But here we are, humans, hustling in the gym.
There are so many systems (capitalism, colonialism, and others) that have contributed to our constant need for productivity. So often we, specifically in the United States, are inundated with messages to continually do more, be better. The thoughts run through our heads that if we stop improving, we will never be perfect. If we do not accomplish something, we have wasted time.
I’m reminded of how popular Louisa’s song in Encanto is, and how the press often said Disney did not expect her to be as popular as she was. Yet, people resonated with her lyrics:
“If I could shake the crushing weight
Of expectations, would that free some room up for joy?
Or relaxation? Or simple pleasure?”
What if you freed room up for relaxation?
In this season, I invite you and encourage you to free up room for rest and relaxation. I invite you to contemplate how rest fits into your life. How could rest benefit you? What do you need in order to feel rested?
A few simple ways to begin exploring your relationship with rest and redefining it for yourself:
Explore
There’s no one right answer here. Your culture, race, area you grew up in, and many other factors can influence how you define rest. Read, watch, or listen to find a definition of rest that feels right to you. Here are a few places you can start:
The 7 types of rest that every person needs | (ted.com)
The Nap Ministry | Rest is Resistance
HURRY SLOWLY is a podcast about pacing yourself, hosted by Jocelyn K. Glei
ADDitude Magazine’s How to Relax Your Mind article
Journal
No right or wrong answers here either. Find a way to journal that works best for you, and explore these questions to get your thoughts flowing:
- Where did this expectation that every minute of my day be productive come from?
- How do I define productivity?
- How would I feel if I had a day that is wholly unproductive?
- Who benefits from me feeling the pressure to be productive every day?
- What if I rest fully for rejuvenation’s sake? For joy’s sake? What if I rest without a need for it to be productive? What could that look like?
Give it a try
This sounds easy, but the pressure can feel very real to keep going or feel guilty while you rest. Pay attention to when your busy needs rest, what feels restful, and what feels restorative. Give yourself a few seconds, minutes to be present with no expectations. No time is too short or too long. You may decide that rest for you is watching the clouds, listening to an audio book, or creating art for fun. This may be extra difficult for neurodivergent brains, people with trauma histories, and others, so find what feels restful to you. Your to-do list will be there.
