Relationship Series: When It’s Not Love At First Sight…
Written By: Bryana Ortiz, M.Ed., LPC-Intern
“Our story is amazing, it was love at first sight!” …. That statement and the story to follow can truly be beautiful and something that brings people to tears. But it’s not everyone’s love story opener.
I grew up watching the Disney princess movies, and was pretty adamant that my love story would start with “We saw each other from across the room, and knew we were meant to be!” Kinda dramatic, I know. I can’t help but giggle and roll my eyes at younger me. If only she knew how her current love story actually unfolded…
I believe there is so much pressure to find the perfect partner who checks off all those little boxes on your list, and that it will be a blissful and wonderful adventure. While it is amazing if that is how it happened for you, I’m here to say it’s okay if yours didn’t start off that way.
It’s interesting that no one tells you “relationships are hard work” until after you’ve hit your first obstacle. Like geez, Brenda you couldn’t have told me before I wrote a whole play of how I was going to fall in love that I was setting myself up for disappointment!
How It Really Goes Down…
As with any plans that fall through the cracks, disappointment can settle in and make a nice home, and speaking from personal experience with my current partner, it can really strain what you are trying to build. Even friends that have been together 8 years testified to that.
What I consider my epic love story didn’t start from across the room. Sure there was an attraction, but it wasn’t “love at first sight.” I admit I didn’t think it would go anywhere. I mean c’mon it didn’t follow act 1 scene 1 of my play! That only made it harder (amongst other things) for us to communicate about our true feelings once it got serious. Arguments, misunderstanding, a year and a half long distance, major life transitions… at different times, “baggage” was aalllll up in our love story.
But guess what… Relationships take work from the very beginning, love at first sight or not. I realized that all that “hard stuff” allows for growth, individually, and as a couple. In my opinion, that is just as beautiful to me as if it was love at first sight.
So, before you throw in the towel because your love story didn’t start “at first sight,” reflect on what has happened, reflect on what you did/are building, reflect on what the relationship means to you and your partner. Not every love story starts with “You had me at hello…”
