Resistance, Acceptance, and Mindfulness
Written By: Leah J. Singer, M.Ed., LPC, RYT-200
Pressure. There it is. Pushing and weighing down on me. One step at a time feels like an eternity. The invisible box I’m in feels to be shrinking instead of expanding. Finding time to breathe deeply and fully seems to be a luxury. It wasn’t like this before, I think. Why all of a sudden does this feel intolerable to bear? A breaking point feels near. Discontent. Crawling in my skin. These emotions, these physical sensations, make me feel like I’m drowning underwater. I’m perpetually wading, trying to push myself to the top just to keep my head above water. My effort feels devoted to simply staying afloat. But I want to be on the boat, my ego exclaims, calling the shots and directing where to steer. Yet as I’m wading underwater, such a feat doesn’t feel near. I consider, perhaps my effort isn’t misplaced, but right where it ought to be. Could it be, that where I am, is right where I need to be? Accepting that feels easy, but it’s the resistance that makes it hard. It’s the shoulds and the ought to’s that cloud my judgement, preventing me from seeing what is. It’s the resistance of honoring where I am at that creates my suffering.
If where I am at is simply staying afloat, then I will dedicate my effort to staying afloat, and doing it well. Eventually, I will find my way to the boat and with the ability to steer. Yet right now, I am swimming. I am swimming and capitalizing on my strength so I can stay afloat and confidently conquer these rocky waters. This is my role. Perhaps embracing the nature of the water, its ebb and flow, its push and pull, is what is required for me to eventually find my way on the boat. A seasoned sailor understands the conditions of the water they find themselves in. Or perhaps, this is it, for right now. And right now, in this moment, considering the possible future outcomes isn’t required.
I can acknowledge that it is the lack of acceptance of my experiences that breeds resistance and is what makes things hard. I also acknowledge that I have a part to play in this, which comes with responsibility. A profound responsibility to recalibrate and adjust where my energy flows. What a reminder this is, to not try to be everything for everyone at once or do everything at once. Focusing my finest effort on one to two things at once can not only keep me afloat, but keep me present and acutely focused.
Unconditional positive regard, radical acceptance, and mindfulness come to mind. It’s these principles and practices that allow me to embrace and honor where I am, at any point in time.
